By David O’Boyle, Esq. — Sharing 15 Years of Mostly Harmless Experience Creating Kids’ Books and Adult Fiction, Big and Small
***(Subject to Change)
🤖 AI Disclosure: I got a little help from the robots on this one. Don’t worry—they don’t get royalties, and I still did all the emotional heavy lifting.
Fuller disclosure: AI wrote that entire disclosure up to “lifting.” So for the disclosure itself, I did no lifting at all. Somewhere in there is the potential for a good gym membership joke. I can’t think of it though—and I don’t want to ask ChatGPT. If he keeps honing those humor skills, I’ll have nothing left.
So You Want to Publish a Book?
You’re entering a world that’s equal parts imagination, paperwork, and unexpected soul-searching.
A congratulations—or condolences—is called for. Maybe I (and by that I mean we…sorry for my rudeness, Chat, you’re introduction is coming and you also got a decent disclosure. The Federal Trade Commission would be proud of such NON-deception).
Anyways…
This blog isn’t pitching a success story.
This is a field guide for someone marooned on an abandoned island in the sea of self-publishing. It comes from someone (ALONG WITH THE ASSISTANCE FROM CHATGPT) who’s been on those islands so many times before that I have a shed full of these to show for it:
Parody Disclaimer: This is my original illustration of a volleyball character inspired by Wilson from Cast Away, intended purely as parody. I’m referencing a well-known work (Wilson the volleyball) to make a transformative commentary—in this case, drawing a comparison between the self-publishing journey and being marooned on an island. It’s meant to be humorous, educational, and creatively original.
I did not use or alter the actual image of Wilson from the film, nor do I claim any affiliation with Cast Away, the filmmakers, or the Wilson sporting goods brand—though I admire both the movie and the gear!
This post also serves as an educational example for other self-publishing authors, highlighting the importance of understanding copyright, trademark, parody, and fair use when marketing creative work.
Important note: While it’s a common misconception, this isn’t a First Amendment issue, because the government isn’t restricting speech here. Instead, this falls under copyright and trademark law, and whether something qualifies as fair use—which is evaluated using legal principles that are influenced by First Amendment values like free expression.
Not legal advice disclosure: This content is intended for informational purposes only and should not be taken as legal guidance. Please consult an attorney for advice about your own copyright, trademark, or fair use questions.
Yet I keep coming back for more.
Over the past 15 years, I’ve self-published:
- Children’s books
- Short story collections
- Poetry
- A graphic novel/poetry thingy1
- A coming-of-age novel (hi, Mooncalfs) (that link is so you can buy my book…in the business we call that marketing. If you aren’t very careful about how you do it you risk having people cringe to the point of losing their lunch. Don’t do that until you have merchandised products and can upsell them.
- And countless ideas that almost became something…I said almost, I mean didn’t.
I’ve learned a lot—mostly by getting it wrong first.
What This Guide Is:
- Apparently it is also equipped with blog posts and social media and all that other stuff because writing a book isn’t enough you now have to put it into a million different boxes to grab your $0.88 monthly earnings from Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited / KDP Global Fund. You will learn that these things all have more names than a prize fighter.
- A walk through my creative and financial misadventures
- Occasional attempts to get on my grammar and editing, or shall I say anti grammer and anti-editin’ soapbocks.
- A candid look at the emotional toll and strange joys of indie publishing
- A roadmap for others who want to make books—and maybe even sell some
- A launchpad for other ideas like merch, affiliate services, podcasts, consulting
- A device I’m using to generate buzz around my books that isn’t completely cringe
- A way to procrastinate finding another job (I really want this to work)
What This Guide Isn’t:
- A magic bullet
- A how-to by someone who’s cracked the Amazon (or YouTube, Spotify, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Google, LinkedIn…) algorithm
- A funnel for a $1,997 course that promises bestseller status (though if you have one, let me know! Also let me know if you have any idea what CHATGPT picked that number $1,997. I really hope it isn’t mocking someone. I am conflict averse unless I am writing a space opera).
This guide is ongoing, evolving, and written while I’m still very much figuring it out. That means the mistakes are fresh and the lessons are hard-earned. You’ll see moments where it becomes a bit more raw ChatGPT output—I mostly add the jokes, self-deprecation, and images. An AI curator, if you will. ChatGPT’s the muscle. And the muscle comes first. So the further down the guide you go the more robotic it looks because I haven’t touched much of it substantively. I think it is a good sign that those portions are awful, but they are laden with information. And to be fair, I haven’t even read most of it yet so it could be better than I think. Let me know if you get there first.
Though he probably doesn’t want to hear this… some of the other AIs—like Canva and Pollo.AI—are becoming the apple of my eye… and the newest hole in my wallet.
If you’re trying to navigate the wilds (wait before I said ocean, so stick with the ocean metaphor) of self-publishing—whether you write children’s books, sci-fi shorts, literary fiction, or something weird and wonderful that doesn’t fit on a shelf (I have several of my own that double as doorstops)—this guide is for you.
This guide isn’t for you if you want to do something that people actually do, like watch movies rather than read books. Although I am using animation now. If I can you can too.
What I’ll Cover:
- Formatting & illustration decisions
- Working with platforms like Ingram and Amazon
- Why marketing might become your favorite (or most loathed) part
- How to turn niche knowledge into traffic and maybe even income. Sidebar- I think I want to be on the fore of changing the term traffic. It is a positive term online and yet it is so terrible in real life. A website with high-traffic should be a website to avoid. At least for now. Because if you come to my page you can zoom on that bad boy like you are a BMW on the Audubon. I was going to insert an image here to bolster this point, but instead I am going to do a plug for a great song about the Autobahn, by a great band. The band is the Felice Brothers. The song is Jazz on the Autobahn.
- Good luck finding me a better songwriter than Ian Felice.
And yes—along the way I’ll be linking to useful tools and possibly making a few cents through affiliate links. Right now though that is not happening. Amazon kicks you from their affiliate program has a 180-day probationary period. I need to reapply.
You know, when the Autobahn gets a traffic jam.
Why am I covering this?
Because one of the realest lessons in this guide is:
You can’t keep making books if the work doesn’t support itself.
Well… unless you write romance e-books. Those are cheap to make, and the margins are great.
But if you’re a dude like me, you’ll probably need to work on your female-gaze prose. At the moment I write women about as well as I draw Beatles. (See: Friends from Other Flower Pots which is available for free on my children’s website because I felt guilty about all the selling I did earlier in this post…plus it’s a series so maybe I can make you a fan for a later date and hit you with…the…
SUBSCRIPTION! Where are credit cards go do die.
➡️ Start Here (not with a subscription, with the free field-guide).
✍️ Want Help?
I also offer Self-Publishing Services—consulting, editing, layout, and general “let’s survive this together” support. (This isn’t free. At least I don’t think so. I don’t have any clients yet.)
Thanks for stopping by. I hope there’s a world here for you.
—David
- I still don’t know what to call Safkinsop: Dealings with a Very Dangerous Vampire. ↩︎
Email: dobsuniverse@davidoboyles.com
(Please include a subject line to help me sort your message.)
You can also find me here:
- Instagram (main author webpage): (@dobsuniverse)
- Instagram (kids): @el_yobo_2025
- Instagram (adult fiction): @transient33
If you want to use paper mail, please send to:
David O’Boyle
705 N Abingdon Street
Arlington, VA, 22203
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