May 2023 Newsletter

Illustration of the short story Ghostkeepers

Dave writes slow as a slug. He also doesn’t like to write non-fiction. There’s too much risk of coming off as an ignoramus. Better to work through issues of the day through his characters. Yet despite this fact, he ‘marketing folk’ assure him that a newsletter is pivotal to company development. There’s the conflict.

How did he resolve it? That’s where I come in…unfortunately. My name is not pronounceable in the human tongue, so we will just call me Jitpoj. We will call me Jitpoj because my first day on a computer keyboard- which is today- I wrote the following mumbo jumbo and looked for the best letter combo therein. :keeoguvyvyrfbrvdfkfkv;songkjgn trjlhkjgnrtsjkgthkhijutjitpojiopkopjkoit.

So I have been named.

Now let me explain the thing behind the name. I say thing because I am an alien that crash-landed in Dave’s apartment a little while back. Dave was warm and welcoming, said I could stay as long as I liked while repairing my ship, no questions asked. Well, one questions was asked, and after that a grand bargain proposed, one of the barter rather than monetary variety.

In exchange for Dave’s hospitality, I, Jitpoj, agree to write his newsletter until I get the heck off this planet.

A deal is a deal. If Dave wants an illiterate alien to market his services that’s on him. This is his logic: having an alien staff writer is avant-garde; more importantly, it goes with the Transient Visitors theme, and even when I cover his children’s books, my commentary will inevitably be, as he said, ‘out-of-this-world.’

How clever.

In negotiations, I’ve made it clear that I’m not one for fibbing. Thus, my newsletters, however many there will be (and hopefully there won’t be many) will be an honest update on the status of this company- if you even want to call it a company. The publishing costs for an LLC in NYC were too expensive so cheapo is running it as a sole proprietor. That way, if he gets sued, he can be sued personally and lose all his money. No piercing of the corporate veil necessary.

Wonderful idea, esquire (isn’t that a term for a stable boy who handles horses?).  

My guess is that the response rate to these newsletters, given how boring I intend to make them, will make Dave reconsider our grand bargain- room and board for a newsletter a month (or is it a week, every two weeks…we didn’t discuss that).

I’ll turn now to present and future apologies for the typos and the grammar errors. Not only have I never written in English before (where I’m from we all speak telepathically, like civilized members of the universe) Dave said I didn’t need to check my work- call it ‘un-editing’ he says. ‘I spend too much time editing my own stuff to check your grammar,’ he says.

Even in his own writing, Dave has started saying that he is a descriptivist when it comes to grammar. This is some linguistic theory/term that relates to the rules of language and usage being nonjudgmental, objective rather than rule-based, and focusing on actual rather than aspirational methods of speaking and writing.


Deep down I think he says that because even after he reads all those grammar books, he still relies on mom to explain to him what a proper noun versus a common noun in proofing sessions for his children’s books.

 More on those children’s books in my next newsletter. A new one titled, The Lighthouse that Lived is just about ready. Links below to other books available in his bookshop. If you do decide to purchase something (I don’t know why you would, most of it is free on his website) the company line is to ask that you do so from David O’Boyle’s Official Author Page (& more) – David O’Boyle ( rather than Amazon or Barnes & Noble or big players.

Doing so eliminates the middleman, giving Dave more profits. More profits equals the ability for Dave to buy “Succession” Season 2. No spoilers! I just love watching that Logan Roy. Additional proceeds, so he says, can go to materials for my ship.



A true Transient Visitor.

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