Monday morning chocolate chip cookie-backing- 1

Looked up a recipe for chocolate chip cookies to make on a Sunday night to start a ritual. Brought them into the office on Monday. Feedback was a little inconsistent. Some said that they were just right and others said they were doughy and others said that they were a little crispy.

You’ll see from the image that the chocolate chip cookies are all different shapes and sizes. Scratch that. We don’t need to be nice here. They look like giant ameba. As much as I like my things looking organic, I think I have to draw the line at the biomolecular level.

So what was the problem?

A few things. First and foremost, impulsivity. I literally just clawed the chocolate chip cookies up in my hand and tossed them onto the baking tray without any regard for size (the Knicks were on at 7:30 and that takes priority during a win streak, we don’t get many of them since the 90’s glory days…go New York, go New York…Go!). Turns out that when you have different shapes and sizes, you also have cookies that cook at different times.

Thus, when you take them out all at once, some are going to be just right, others will be doughy, and others will be a bit crispy, especially when you have a tiny oven like me that essentially coughs out a flame- I’d be better off using a lighter. The result of this: you get some happy cookie eaters, some tolerable cookie eaters, and some frustrated cookie eaters. At this point I should interject and state that the frustrated cookie eaters need to calm down. I didn’t charge for this cookie. And even a bad chocolate chip cookie is better than a good oatmeal cookie. Come at me oatmeal people. Keep that -ish in the breakfast bowl.

What’s the solution?

Part of it is, as the Gourmandise School of Sweets and Savories says so wonderfully, is that you have to go “lunch-lady style with a portion scooper.” Okay, you don’t need to go lunch-lady style unless you want a big cookie (I just added this because I loved the description), but you need a portion scooper. Then you need to, “Scoop up a mound of dough and fill the scooper, take your palm and swipe the dough off flat from one edge of the scooper to the other, then clean off the edges and deposit on your cookie sheet.”

Taste of Home seconds this ‘scoop theory’: Get identically sized cookies when you use a cookie scoop. This handy tool is a must in any kitchen (and it makes a great gift for bakers).”

Eat This Not That echoes this notion, but also adds that you want to pay attention to the degree of packing you do into the cookie scoop before you level off. If you overpack some and level it and underpack others and level it, you could be heading for another batch of amoebas.

Cookie uniformity, I’m on my way. And if you need a book, to go with that cook, or a short story to wash down that chocolate chip glory, check out my homepage or my bookstore. I promise I edited those a little bit more.